Though your promise seems forsaken, I’ll remember the world in Yours hands…
This spoke to me quite alot i guess. It probably a dark time of my life right now where feel so uncertain of what’s next, why all these is happening. Maybe I’m relying too much on my own strength that I’ve ended up in a bigger mess than I was before. I dont even know myself now.
Jesus, take the wheel. Lead me to somewhere safe. Into the light from the dark.
I believe He is working through my tears.
xx
(via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
go kayaking alone. with no one around. with no one to judge. with no aim. just paddle away from everything.
(Source: emmafatty, via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
times seem dark ahead but I know He has a plan and purpose for me. eventually He’ll take all these pains away from me and replace them with hope and love.
(via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
15-little-blue-sheeps:
I want to do that so much right now. But instead sit there. Let the waves wash over me. Wash away all my troubles.
I can break down just any moment you know.
Argh life is so messed up right now. My efforts in being optimistic have kind of gone down the drain. Pessimistic and insecure and full of worries and doubtful about life all over again. I knew I was falling back to where I started, the place which I fought so hard to get out off, but I could do nothing to save myself.
High expectations from everyone everywhere. Math and chem teachers called me out already to question my detoriating grades. I do study I really do, but is it not hard enough? I dont know. I just know work keeps being thrown at us. It so freaking stressing. I dont have any time to do what I like. Everyday is work work work. And some days we end so late and I have to mug through the night. Got six tests this week. Crazy huh. What are the teachers doing. And the exams are in 15 days and ive only started revising lit. I am so behind time but I got so much still to do. And my grades, what is happening? I cant seem to grasp concepts or I perform well in non graded tasks and screw up in panic when it graded. Maybe I am spending too much time on the phone, wasting away precious time but its hard to not do that you know. Year 3 is so stressful how will I go on.
Canoe polo. Its a big commitment and tiring. I do enjoy it but we’ve got a row and run race that is complusory to join sigh. Its a 5km run and I hate running but I have to do it. Arghhhhhhhhhh. Why so high expectations!
Piano. Ugh the teachers thinks I am not practicising. I DONT HAVE THE TIME YOU DK MY SCHOOL SO STOP SAYING STRESS IS NORMAL AND IM LAZY. And short fingers my fault ah? Ugh i want to quit so badly its torture but yet parents dont allow. Dad said he’ll talk to mom about it but somehow i dont want to either. Whats with me?!?!
Worship. I know i know. I aint that good. My voice is too soft and I panic and I am not sure about the notes pitch sometimes. The cell is encouraging but i have eyes and I know what my standard really is. I know it doesnt matter in worship whether I sing well or not but I feel as if I am letting people down and not helping them in engaging. Like not good enough to… Ugh i am.at the bottom of everything ugh.
Napfa. Okay i was so worried. Aiming for a gold this year. So far so good but more than everything i wanted to be best y3 girl in ipu but apparently somebody did more than me. Hear say about it. I feel the need to prove to everyone I am not as weak as I look. So they will stop looking down. Thats all I want. I feel bad wishing she doesnt beat me but….sighhh. Been so troubled over this. If I dont get it I be miserable :/
Student coun. I want to join but got so many things already how to. Sigh later I really cannot survive then how. But i really miss council…WHY IS EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT.
Nobody understands. Well people are all different I guess. I realise it is better to keep stuff to yourself where only you yourself can judge yourself. And telling just makes you feel even worse.
I need sleep, lots of it. And peace. Yes peace from God. And someone who can understand.
palides:
wendy loves string by kate / for me, for you on Flickr.
(via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
I want a cat so bad. To snuggle up against me when I’m sad. And mew to assure me that I’m gonna be okay.
(via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
caseforfaith:
Packing it up & moving on. God’s taking me on a new journey, so I’m leaving my old suitcase behind <3
You & Me God; #letsgo
(Source: angmariee, via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
I believe the promise of His everlasting love.
Though things may not be going well right now, I see a spark of hope, a light in the darkness whenever I call out to Him for help. He’s there. Always been. This will come to a pass. Eventually. Because He promised.
(Source: otakulei, via 15-little-blue-sheeps)
About a few things.
And theyre bothering me :/
Dont like worrying about things snatched away from me.
I dont know what I want. Not anymore.
In the past, knowing what I wanted was easy. Wanting to be a firefighter, a pilot, a ninja. Living in a bungalow. Having a dog. All simple things. Now its different.
Now I dont know where im heading. Whether i’ll end up at a dead end. I struggling to figure out what exactly I want right now.
I’ve given up on so many things. Netball, dance stuff, council, choir. I give up to easily. I know that. Running away from my problems or insecurities is what I cant help but do. Maybe im too scared of being the worst, maybe im afraid I cant meet expections.
Hard decisions in life are probably like two way roads. Sometimes I wonder if giving up was the wrong turn I took. Maybe that’s why im lost right now.
Wandering all around. Its like. Living your life just for the sake of living it. Walking aimlessly, unsure of what’s going to happen next.
Its worrying isnt it?